You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
