She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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