Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
