dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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