i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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