White coat. Heels.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
