Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize