I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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