You're so nebulous sometimes
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
