God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
