you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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