Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
