god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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