we made out on top of his cat.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize