hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize