Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
