Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
