yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
