Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
