He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
