It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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