So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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