Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
What happened to fro yo and sex?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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