When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize