just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It's official drugs can't kill me
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
