So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
