Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
