Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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