so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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