Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm passing your future prison.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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