got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
