it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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