If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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