I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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