I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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