ugly people sure do ruin things
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
