Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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