her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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