plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
