i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
