Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
