in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
