How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm at about main and main street
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize