I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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