yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
