this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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