drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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