so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize