That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
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