last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
