You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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