is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
