she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
operation have a gay friend backfired
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
