So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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