It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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