Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize