My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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