So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
