I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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