I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize