I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
